Of 3C's, 4P's, 5 Forces and 7S...

As its raining pink slips all over the globe, I’m getting drenched in the academic abundance of B-school jargons and mnemonics. What with 3C’s, 4P’s, 5 Forces and 7S and other such alphabets floating around aimlessly, while I make futile attempts to comprehend them. I really wonder what a tough task it is to fit such concepts in a few words and to top it they also find a word which starts with the same alphabet (except for Porters 5 Forces, which I added just for the sake of continuity, anybody out there, who can suggest me a management principle which starts with a 6ABCD....XYZ, please do suggest me). Sheeeeeeeshhhh!!! That takes some doing. Why not 6S or 8S, or why not 1A-2S and1D. I just thought of analyzing this practice of fitting things into basic models and coming up with a fancy name for it, and guess what, I came up with my own model of 4Q’s.

1) Quirky: Eccentric would be more like it, but quirky suits my model better. What this means is that people who design these models are quirky to the core. This makes them ideally suited to come up with something which everyone has been aware of, from the Neanderthal age and present it as if it is the next best invention after the wheel.
2) Quandary: The goal of the models so proposed is to put those who read it into a state of state of uncertainty or perplexity, especially as requiring a choice between equally unfavourable options or put them in a situation from which extrication is difficult especially an unpleasant or trying one; or to make them find themselves in a most awkward predicament or better still to put them in a state of difficulty or perplexity for an eternity.
3) Queasy: This is the ultimate milestone of the models, and they won’t rest until they transport you to the hallowed portals of queasiness, after which the only way out is to actually let it out, if you know what I mean (Please refer to my upcoming, plagiarized, award-winning article on the 3-V’s viz: Vicious, Viper and Vomit). Please do bear in mind, that if you have not yet reached the zenith of queasiness, the models will make you revolve in the churning sea of quandary, by looping you back to step-2 of the model.
4) Quentin Tarantino: Hell, I had made up my mind there were going to be 4-Q’s and 4-Q’s there shall be, come hell or high water. I’m sure Quentin wouldn’t mind being part of my pioneering model.