In order of stupidity

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer "Do not use while sleeping." (Darn, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos " You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???..)

On some Swanson frozen dinners "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it’s just a suggestion).

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) "Do not turn upside down." (well duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding "Product will be hot after heating." (and you thought????.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn’t this save me more time)?

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid "Warning: May cause drowsiness" (and I’m taking this because???.)

On most brands of Christmas lights "For indoor or outdoor use only. (as opposed to what)?

On a Japanese food processor "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh fly Delta?)

On a child’s Superman costume "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God…was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)