1) Dont Panic. The poor creature has spent the whole night in your bathroom, it probably might be in a worse condition then you. Leave the door open and let it breathe.
2) Tigers love TV especially National Geographic. Switch it on, maybe a seductive tigress could keep him occupied or the zebras could catch his attention.
3) Do not, I repeat do not call him "Kitty" or "Here Kitty Kitty". Tigers hate cats, and the worst insult would be to call him a kitten or throw him a woolen ball to keep him busy.
4) You could always do what they did in The Hangover: Slip him 7 or 8 roofies in a T-bone steak, and watch him closely till he finishes it of completely. The "watching him closely" part is the most difficult one and I advise that you elect your Tiger Feeder before you embark on any such adventures.
5) Tell him that you know calvin and thought that Hobbes was always the cooler one. You could even build a transmogrifier out of a cardboard box and play for a while with him.
6) Play the song - Eye of the Tiger by Survivor for the poor creature and tell him how inspired you feel each time you hear the song.
7) Last but not the least, remember the tiger is an endangered species and we must... wait a minute did I leave my bathroom open.... aargghhh... $#@6%%%%... Awwww ..Gaaaah!!!....
Tiger: Hi This is Tiger... Don't believe a word of what this stupid moron says. I slipped roofies in his tea, his assistants didn't taste that good, lemme have a go at him.... *Evil laugh*
3 comments:
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