Calling XL'ers: Laughter Guaranteed

Disclaimer: This is not a work of fiction. All characters are real and can be found somewhere or the other if you try really hard to find them. All the incidents below have actually happened.

Scene1: After a gruelling mock interview session where students had donned the role of BCG executives and wannabe Consultants.
FJSJ: "Son, What is that?" (Pointing to an old Dennis the Menace wall clock)
Poor Wannabe PW: "I'm sorry that we extended our alloted time".. umm aahh blah blah
FJSJ: "Son I asked you a simple question, What is that?"
PW:"We are sorry, but we couldn't finish it in time"... blah blah blah
FJSJ: "Is it so difficult for you to answer such a simple question, What is that"(in unmeasurable Decibels)....
PW: Nearly in tears"Thats a wall clock"

FJSJ: Not done yet "And what does it show" ..... :D
PW: "The time".....
All others rolling in the aisles

Scene2: After another such Mock interview session to a wannabe:
FJSJ: "Son, if the amount of information that you know about the company be written on the back of a postage stamp, there would still be enough space to write your resume over there."
All roar again.... :D

Scene3: On a VIP's visit to campus:
FJSJ: "You think with a speech like that you will be allowed to introduce him to others, you should be glad if they allow you to even polish his shoes..."

Scene4: On a hyper active mock interview by a wannabe:
FJSJ: "Son, the performance that you put up, even a 39th grade tamil comedian of C grade movies would be impressed by you."

Scene5: On a speech about independence by a wannabe:
FJSJ: "And, Son you said 'Passionate Forefathers'. Do you understand the meaning of passion, and that it is used in a sexual way."

Scene6: A Cell phone rings in the class by mistake:
FJSJ: "If I hear another phone ring, I will personally go and plant all your mobiles in the garden outside. Who is going to call you incompetent idiots anyway."

Scene7: On a question by a wannabe about apostrophes and colons:
FJSJ: "Why does everyone feel like i'm responsible for all the idiots in this world."

Scene8: On repeating the question by another wannabe:
FJSJ: "Do I hear a echo in the classroom"

Some gems from B:

Scene9: After another of those Mock Interviews:
FJSJ: "You think you did a good job, I hate to tell you but the whole interview panel was a bunch of dumb idiots who dont have an iota of information about your company, but I'm glad you selected him, not because he knows anything but because he is also a complete idiot like you guys."
Rolling in the aisles again with laughter...

Scene10: About etiquettes of starting conversations:
FJSJ: "You cannot just walk upto someone and ask them stupid questions like "Why have you bought this?" or "Why do you talk like that?"
Poor wannabe: Looks on in amazement...
FJSJ: "See for example I cannot ask him (pointing to poor wannabe) Why he looks so stupid?"

And thats not all, I know there are more. I would kindly request you all to add whatever anecdotes, remarks, statements you remember and post them as comments on this post for all others to enjoy...Cheers